麻烦帮我改一篇托福作文,Agree or disagree:when relaxing,some people like to spend time aloneNowadays,people usually busy in their work or study.After that,when they relaxing,some people would like spend their time alone.One the contrary,oth

麻烦帮我改一篇托福作文,Agree or disagree:when relaxing,some people like to spend time aloneNowadays,people usually busy in their work or study.After that,when they relaxing,some people would like spend their time alone.One the contrary,oth
麻烦帮我改一篇托福作文,
Agree or disagree:when relaxing,some people like to spend time alone
Nowadays,people usually busy in their work or study.After that,when they relaxing,some people would like spend their time alone.One the contrary,other people would like to spend with their friends or family.As far as I am concern,I’m prefer to spend time alone than with other people when I relaxing.Thus,I’m quite agree the statement.
On the one hand,after a tired working day,spending time alone is a good way for people to relax themselves.Take my mother for example,everyday she needs to work at least ten hours,managing the factory almost make her fagged,and she needs cook dinner to me after go home.When she can have a rest,she invariably spend time alone,listening some music or watching TV,which can make she feel comfortable and serene.Therefore,the high-demanding work never affects my mother’s health.
On the other hand,when you are relaxing,if you spend time with others like your friend,it would waste your rest-time.For instance,after a hard-working day,you go out with your friends all night,this absolutely effect your sleeping time,which may make you late to work next day,and effect the rhythm of your life.However,if you stay at home after working,taking a warm bath and then have a good sleeping night,it would not only benefit for your health but also take advantage your time.Furthermore,you can go working with energy tomorrow,which can bring you power to work more efficient.
Nevertheless,spending time with others when you are relaxing also has its advantages.Chatting and joking with them can bring you happiness,and this will improve you friendship and ability of communicate.
To sum up,spending time alone when we relaxing is a useful way to arrange our life.We do need a tranquil environment to think our whole day life,or make ourselves do something meaningful.Thereby,if you feel weary after working,you should relax yourself alone,which is diametrically wholesome for you.Though spending time with others is also a good choice,but if I have to choose,I would like to spend time alone when relaxing.

麻烦帮我改一篇托福作文,Agree or disagree:when relaxing,some people like to spend time aloneNowadays,people usually busy in their work or study.After that,when they relaxing,some people would like spend their time alone.One the contrary,oth
Nowadays,people usually busy in their work or study.缺动词 be busy
when they relaxing 又缺动词
After that,when they relaxing,some people would like spend their time alone.One the contrary,other people would like to spend with their friends or family.一看就是没话找话写,一个简单句子还写成两个了.on the contrary是大词,表达意见不同的时候再用.这个时候一个while 就自然的转过去了.
Thus,I’m quite agree the statement.口语化.
As far as I am concern语法错误.
到这里就不用看了,楼主不是我说 ,真的挺烂的.分低没心情继续改下去了.楼主先加强基本的语法和词汇把.

你可以到新东方批改网提交一下，这个是提供专业批改服务~反正页面很精美，价格也……唉，如果不是打折期去批改的话，就心痛死人了……不过毕竟是外教，质量很不错，如果你基础不太好，语法错误比较多，那就找这里批改。但是你在网上和这些外教交流提问的时候也得用英文，憋死我了T T 他们有三个级别的批改标准，楼主斟酌吧~...

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你可以到新东方批改网提交一下，这个是提供专业批改服务~反正页面很精美，价格也……唉，如果不是打折期去批改的话，就心痛死人了……不过毕竟是外教，质量很不错，如果你基础不太好，语法错误比较多，那就找这里批改。但是你在网上和这些外教交流提问的时候也得用英文，憋死我了T T 他们有三个级别的批改标准，楼主斟酌吧~

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