帮我修改一下我自己写的英语演讲稿英语演讲稿ladies and gentleman:today I want to share with you something about my growing pains.After this Spring Festival,I’m already 18 years old and I think I’m a grown-up now.last time I too

帮我修改一下我自己写的英语演讲稿英语演讲稿ladies and gentleman:today I want to share with you something about my growing pains.After this Spring Festival,I’m already 18 years old and I think I’m a grown-up now.last time I too
帮我修改一下我自己写的英语演讲稿
英语演讲稿
ladies and gentleman:
today I want to share with you something about my growing pains.
After this Spring Festival,I’m already 18 years old and I think I’m a grown-up now.last time I took part in this competition I recite a famous speech but this time I’m showing you my own experience,for a grown-up should be brave enough to show herself and rely on herself
There is a song called.lots of children hate to grow up because we have to face so much reality.take me for example,about 2 years ago I went to a new school where I have to separate from all of my old friends.it was so lonely for me for I have no new friends,every one is busy with their studies.once on a P.E lesson ,the teacher asked us to make a up-side-down under our partner’s help because it’s dangerous.but when I made it the people supposed to help me didn’t protect me,so I got hurt.it was so serious that I went to almost every big hospital in this city but it couldn’t be cured.what’s more they didn’t even say sorry nor did they show any care.from then on I just couldn’t stop thinking how selfish they are.
Another thing that shock me is that our English teacher suddenly died of lung cancer last year.it’s the first time I feel that death is so close to us an life is so vulnerable I was afraid that I’ll get old or dead before I have realized my dream.
If you think I’m pessimistic you are wrong,I will never ever give up.
Although the society may be dark and life may be short,we should find the positive reason to continue for light is always accompanied by dark and life is meaningful because it’s limited.
Thank you for listening.
请指出语法错误(动词结构之类的)或更好的建议(比如内容方面的)
这是我头一次写稿,语句是否太简单呢?(反正过几天就得比赛)
推荐些好的演讲稿的网站吧
哪有 pains in growing 的说法啊 不是都是growing pains
我们学校的人的确很没人性啊
现实本来就是黑暗的,连说说都受限制
要不我还是写点别的吧

帮我修改一下我自己写的英语演讲稿英语演讲稿ladies and gentleman:today I want to share with you something about my growing pains.After this Spring Festival,I’m already 18 years old and I think I’m a grown-up now.last time I too
我觉得语法基本没有什么错误（要是你是个高中生的话不错了）
句法对于高中学生不算简单吧我觉得呵呵
只是我觉得内容不大适宜 写了太多负面的东西 不适合做演讲（大家都知道老师啊那些领导干部啊只喜欢听好的的）
得改改

错的不少.gentlemen.
today I want to share my pains in growing with you
experience 有两种意思,一种是经历,为可数名词,一种是经验,不可数,不知道你要表达的是哪种.
后面建议改成定语从句,还有最好不要重复
my experience that an adult must be bra...

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错的不少.gentlemen.
today I want to share my pains in growing with you
experience 有两种意思,一种是经历,为可数名词,一种是经验,不可数,不知道你要表达的是哪种.
后面建议改成定语从句,还有最好不要重复
my experience that an adult must be brave enogh to rely on himself or herself.
lots of children ...because they ...
.I was lonely and I have no new friends
make an up-side-down
but when I made it my partener did not help me, I got hurt.
show any notice
we should find the positive reason to continue for light is always accompanied by dark and life is meaningful because it’s limited这句我真不知道怎么改了,还是看你的了,最好改简单点.

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ladies and gentleman:
today I want to talk to you about the pain that i had.
After this Spring Festival,I have turned 18 years old and I think that I’m a grown-up now.The last time when I to...

全部展开

ladies and gentleman:
today I want to talk to you about the pain that i had.
After this Spring Festival,I have turned 18 years old and I think that I’m a grown-up now.The last time when I took part in this competition I recite a famous speech but this time I’m showing you my own experience, that as a grown-up should be brave enough to express himself/herself and rely on himself/herself.（不要性别歧视）
There is a song called.lots of children hate to grow up because they will have to face the reality when they grow up.take me for an example,about 2 years ago I went to a new school where I had to separate from all of my old friends.it was so scary(lonely形容人的) for me because I had no new friends there,every one was busy with their studies. one day on a P.E lesson ,the teacher asked us to pratice sit-ups under and there was people going to help each of us because it was dangerous.but when I was doing it the people who was supposed to help me didn’t protect me,so I hurt myself.it hurt so bad that I had to see the doctors in almost every big hospitals in town, but it couldn’t be cured.what more was that they didn’t even say sorry and that they didnt show any care either.ever since then, I just couldn’t stop thinking how selfish.
Another thing that shocked me is that our English teacher suddenly died from the lung cancer last year.it was the first time I felt that death is so close to us and that life is so vulnerable. I was afraid that I would get old or die before I have even realized my dream.
If you think that I’m pessimistic you are wrong,I will never ever give up.
Although the society may be dark and life may be short,we should find the positive reasons to keep up, for light is always accompanied by dark and life is meaningful because it’s limited.
Thank you for listening
时态改了一些。 还有society may be dark什么的就不要写了吧。

收起