英语六级作文批改麻烦大家帮我批改一下这篇作文.任何错误都可以指出来,Direction:1.网络丰富和便利了人们的生活2.很多人开始对 形成依赖3.我对此的看法On Internet AddictThe exict of Internet makes ou

英语六级作文批改麻烦大家帮我批改一下这篇作文.任何错误都可以指出来,Direction:1.网络丰富和便利了人们的生活2.很多人开始对 形成依赖3.我对此的看法On Internet AddictThe exict of Internet makes ou
英语六级作文批改
麻烦大家帮我批改一下这篇作文.任何错误都可以指出来,
Direction:
1.网络丰富和便利了人们的生活
2.很多人开始对 形成依赖
3.我对此的看法
On Internet Addict
The exict of Internet makes our life more convenient more colorful and more abundant.We just need to click the keyboard to send a mail then few seconds later friends can receive the massage rather than go to the post office to the letter then several days later friend receive it.What’s more,the information on the internet is various and adequate.Study material,latest news ,fabulous stars,softwares for any kind of usage and so on.You can find out almost things you are concerned.
We indeed can’t deny that internet has made our life by far effective.However,more and more people can’t live in normal without internet.They are too rely on the internet to work or to study.Especially,teenagers,a part of them are addicted to video games,some teenagers even engrossed in the internet bar all day long with eating and sleeping in there.Meanwhile,there are so many unhealthy information on the internet which teenagers is hard to indentity.On the other hand,for most companies ,schools or any other organization,internet has become a indispensable tool,they can’t run normally without internet.
As for me,we need internet .We need effective working and life.So making a advisable use of internet and catching its shortcut are a great way to enhance our effective and to make our life batter.However,we shouldn’t ignore the negative aspect of internet.For this part ,some potent measures must be taken before things get worst.First,schools and parents should educate their teenagers about the threat of addiction to video games.Stepping up the communication between teenagers and parents/teachers.Color their part time job.Second,our laws should be made tougher shows zero tolerance to those bed information spreader.Third,organizations should make a back up for the important datas in case of the situation without internet suddenly.
如果有好的地方请帮忙指出来，不好的地方请尽情的指出、修改或者抨击！THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH!

英语六级作文批改麻烦大家帮我批改一下这篇作文.任何错误都可以指出来,Direction:1.网络丰富和便利了人们的生活2.很多人开始对 形成依赖3.我对此的看法On Internet AddictThe exict of Internet makes ou
感觉中式英语的味道很浓.
写作的时候尽量用简单朴实的句子,不要过于追求语法和辞藻.

很好个P
就仔细看了第一句 "存在"是exist不是exict
没时间看那么多 实话说 扫一眼的印象 顶多良好 想优秀多练练吧

六级不考这个，可能性很大的是以下类型：
作文地带预测六级作文考点一、今年考试很可能是新闻稿，比如：写一篇反映社会现象的新闻稿件相关的英语作文。
相关范文作文地带正在拟写，不断更新中！
范文：
从英文新闻稿写作技巧及注意事项、作文地带在实际操作案例等方面做了细致的介绍。针对如何写好一篇英文新闻稿，Joozone Editor给出了9点的建议：
1、抓住新闻点<...

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六级不考这个，可能性很大的是以下类型：
作文地带预测六级作文考点一、今年考试很可能是新闻稿，比如：写一篇反映社会现象的新闻稿件相关的英语作文。
相关范文作文地带正在拟写，不断更新中！
范文：
从英文新闻稿写作技巧及注意事项、作文地带在实际操作案例等方面做了细致的介绍。针对如何写好一篇英文新闻稿，Joozone Editor给出了9点的建议：
1、抓住新闻点
2、明确新闻的读者是谁，站在读者的角度提供有用的素材
3、尽量避免使用过多的形容词，不使用华丽词藻
4、阐述事实。5、首段介绍整篇文章最重要、最主旨的信息
6、语言通俗易懂，便于记者使用或采写
7、引用重要人物的评论和发言
8、提供相关联系人信息，便于记者核实信息或补充采访
9、用词简洁准确
作文地带预测六级作文考点二、
1、近年来在学生中出现了忽视中文学习的现象
2、出现这种现象的原因和后果
1、近年来在学生中出现了忽视中文学习的现象 2出现这种现象的原因和后果 3为了改变这种状况、我认为……
In recent years, the phenomenon of ingoring Chinese learning is existing in students.Entering university, many students believe that english is more important for the current employment, this situation led directly to the current language proficiency of students on the decline.In addition,Chinese language courese are being 'marginalized' or in embassrassing situation in campus.Though English is a good tool for us, it can not replace the role of our mother tougue.Chinese learning is not only a simple extension, it also help student continue the essence of our traditional culture.
We should pay high attention to its learning and become a 'root' of the Chinese people.
更多信息请参考作文地带范文。
只是预测而已，其他还真想不到了。您就照着看吧。

收起

可可以

很好